6 Reasons I’m Worried to Return to US Schools…

The countdowns have begun, the bucket lists are getting drawn up…After nearly three years, we have less than four months to go here in Denmark.  And that means, less that four months of the forest school experience here for us.  We don’t know entirely what’s next, although we do know we’ll be in Washington, DC for a bit.  How long is still to be determined.  What type of school will be next is also still to be determined.  I have found one forest school option, but the logistics and cost might make it prohibitive.  So I find myself starting to think about what life will be like in a more traditional schooling environment.  Part of that is exciting of course – our daughter truly, truly can’t wait to be part of “school”.  But part of me is also quite worried about it as a parent.6-Reasons-Why-I'm-Worried-To-Return-To-US-Schools-As-An-Expat

We’ve had a wonderful run here  – although if I think back to the beginning, it was certainly not without its challenges.  Challenges are normal, especially when there is so much change.  So maybe I’m worrying too much in advance.  And as someone who loved their education in the United States growing up, it never occurred to me that I would worry about it one day for my children, but here’s what’s on my mind:

The Testing Thing

I didn’t much pay attention to all this testing noise earlier because I wasn’t quite in the boat where it affected me.  But it’s all coming a bit closer to home.  Two things that got me to take notice: when I found out my niece, who is only a year older than my daughter and wicked smart, gets “tested” three times a week every week, and half of those questions are on surprise material that you can get wrong despite having no previous exposure to it.  Second, was the fantastic and thoughtful editorial piece by Amy Frogge for the Washington Post about losing 6-8 weeks of the year to testing.  And also:

“My 9-year-old third grader will spend more time taking standardized tests this year than I spent taking the LSAT to get into law school.”

That just doesn’t make much sense to me at all.  I grew up a nerd, and personally, I love a good test.  If it actually measures what I learned.  And some discipline around testing and performing with a bit of pressure is not necessarily a bad thing.  But increasingly, from an outsider’s perspective, this is all starting to seem like a colossal, and not necessarily harmless, waste of time.

The Common Core Thing

While we’re add it, let’s throw Common Core into the mix too.  I suspect it goes hand in  hand with “the testing thing”.  Again, as a parent who loves education and wants the best for my children, I’m not opposed to the notion of standards and quality.  At its core (pun intended), that’s not a bad thing.  But in practice, the more I see my niece’s homework, the more I see that this “core” work they’re bringing home is kind of a lot of bogus.  Maybe it will be different in practice for us once we get there, but I can’t say I feel reassured.  It also doesn’t help when teachers that you meet who are part of our expat lifestyle advise you to avoid Common Core if at all possible.  Some of the teachers who have given years and years of service to public systems, are doing what they can to put their own children in private education, and often suggest you do the same.  Not just one of them….all of them.  I’m worried I might make the wrong choice.  Or that the “right” choice will be prohibitively expensive.

The Recess Thing

Being outside has become such a core part of my daughter’s school day, that I can’t imagine her not getting this time as early as next year.  Since we grew up with plenty of recess in North Dakota when I was younger, I never really considered it something you had to fight for until reading articles like this about the Florida recess debacle.  All the research shows that time outside is good, kids say that time outside is good, teachers say that time outside is good….So the fact that you would have to go as far as state legislation to protect something that is universally good for children? Why? How did we get here? Is it to create more time for more Common Core? for more testing? Is it to protect for profit schools that have recess as a differentiator? I worry because I can’t square this in my mind, and I imagine other parents can’t either.

The Snow Thing

Here when it snows, there is a collective delight from the kids because in school the rush off to sled together before it all melts away.  Snow doesn’t stick around Denmark long, but it certainly did in North Dakota, and the qualifications for a snow day meant that if we were taking one, it was certainly bad outside.  In the DC area, the mere mention of the possibility seems to drive the city into paralysis.  I realize that part of this is because the city is generally unprepared for snow and snow clearing (that’s painfully obvious after moving there from a state that gets actual snow).  But in 2013-2014, the area averaged about 10 days of snow days (this isn’t even counting “two-hour delays”) across counties, and that number wasn’t too far off the following year.  That is two work weeks without school access.  As a parent who’s on her own through the end of this year, this definitely worries me a bit as to what happens to the kids when the school is no place to go? How does that balance with work? How does that affect their routines? Are we teaching them the world should stop turning when it snows (or that TV is the appropriate answer since even if I stay home, I will have to work from home and will struggle to find a way to occupy them for 8 hours?) But really, what worries me is that they might lose some of the joy that comes with changing weather – will she still find joy in sledding?

The Absences Thing

While the schools seem to close at the drop of a hat for weather, leaving you as a parent in the lurch, there doesn’t seem to be reciprocity for when you as a parent might have to adjust to your own schedule.  Here when we had some family trips, the school kindly advised us to take our time. I realize this might have not been the case if our daughter was older and had more formal schooling here, but given that she will be in kindergarten in DC, I worry a bit about all the communications from the public schools about what constitutes truancy and going on and on about unexcused absences.  I imagine that these policies are in place to ultimately protect children and their educations.  But for myself as a child, some of the most formative experiences I had were trips that my parents took me on which required time out from school occasionally . What if I want to do the same for my own children? Will they really consider me a neglectful parent?

The Legalese Thing

Since we’ve been in forest school, we’ve signed exactly one waiver/permission slip thing and it had to do with photography and we filled in any stipulations we had for their consideration right on the form.  I have a feeling that in the US, school will be full of waivers and forms and permissions and what not, all to satisfy the intense level of legalese needed to make sure that everyone is covered.  Here, the schools generally trust parents to do what’s right, and parents trust the school to make good decisions on their behalf.  No paperwork required.  Some things are sometimes not always exactly on in a specific moment on both sides, but overall, the working relationship is a good one – without all the legalese standing in the way.  Maybe it is not possible to do it that way in the US for a number of reasons, but I’ll miss the foundation of trust that is such a bedrock here.   I worry that if that trust goes away, does mistrust and fear take it’s place in equal proportions?

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I know that, like any transition, we will make our way through it.  There might be some growing pains and I know many who feel that their students are receiving a more than wonderful education in the DC area so we’ll find the right fit soon enough. I guess my biggest fear is that there might not be room for our experience of how things to could a little different; that we might forget what we learned here.  It’s not the only way to do things, but it is a pretty great way, and I would hate to lose that in the move.

Parents who have made similar types of transitions, I’m all ears for your advice!

15 Comments

  1. Jennie April 12, 2016

    Feeling ALL of these worries myself as we get ready to return back to the US!!

    Reply
    • A Toddler in the Trees April 13, 2016

      good luck – it can be overwhelming right? plus, i think it seems more overwhelming when we still feel far away…

      Reply
  2. aimee Stilling April 12, 2016

    I hear you Ania. It took me by surprise that I suddenly had to worry about my childs education because I assumed it would be like mine, in public school in the 70’s, 80’s. What I couldn’t have known is that was a renaissance period in education when the emphasis was on whole child learning and differentiation in instruction. I never in my wildest thoughts imagined that I would have to become an activist to try and get that back for her, that I would have to fight for something so basic as recess and enough time for them to finish their lunch, That i would chose to homeschool as way out while at the same time trying to create change in the system in for all the poor little souls that are locked in.

    Reply
    • A Toddler in the Trees April 13, 2016

      It’s a strange feeling right, to end up advocating for thing that seem like common sense? A bit surreal…I’m definitely hopeful because I know there are lots of other great qualities about American schools too but I’m hoping they don’t get crowded out by these few things that don’t seem to make much sense. At least, that’s how it feels from afar…it’s hard to know too when you’re not even actually there yet…

      Reply
  3. JIllian C-L April 12, 2016

    I’ve been loving reading all about forest school here on your blog, thanks for sharing so much! I would totally have the same worries about moving back stateside if I was in your situation. I don’t have kids yet, but more and more I’m thinking about how an alternative schools with more freedom makes so much sense, especially for young kids. I was talking with a teacher friend about the importance of play for young minds, and forest school just seems to fit that model so well. My friend is actually a kindergarten teacher at a private school in DC called The Sheridan School (http://www.sheridanschool.org). I’m not sure what their curriculum looks like as far as testing, play, and free time, but I know she absolutely loves teaching there, and the administration is super supportive of sending their teachers for continuing education (she even went to italy one summer to learn about the reggio-emilia way of schooling). Might be worth looking into Sheridan if you haven’t found it already :)

    Reply
    • A Toddler in the Trees April 13, 2016

      thanks so much for reading along and so glad you’ve enjoyed reading it! I’ll definitely take a look at Sheridan – happy teachers are always a good sign I think…

      Reply
  4. EH April 17, 2016

    Something you might enjoy: https://medium.com/@AnjiPlay/the-21st-century-maria-montessori-is-changing-china-we-should-all-be-paying-attention-461acf0e8bfb#.6j6r4m7go

    Reply
    • A Toddler in the Trees April 19, 2016

      Loved this article, thanks so much for sharing! I’ll share on the blog as well – I especially loved this quote: “I am always nearby, but I don’t interrupt her or push toys on her; I understand that she is actually a very good judge of her environment and the objects in it.”

      I often get asked if forest school or nature play could work in different parts of the world and always love to see situations that prove that it can!

      Reply
  5. Giulia April 18, 2016

    I have the opposite fear. I wonder often if we move to Swtizerland, which might be an option that my kids would suffer in school for the following reasons: 1. it’s illegal to take your child out of school during the school year, therefore you are limited to school vacations, regardless how well your child might be doing. 2. Swiss school system is very much focused on the non-working mom (depending on where you move to), so you are expected to be home for lunch! 3. My children attend a french public school here in Canada but based on an individualized learning system, ie they choose what item they want to tackle next and they work their way through their material. 4. our school is a no-homework school, except for reading and presentation preperation. 5. Here in Canada I have a choice of english or french school, or french immersion. in Switzerland it’s german school in german parts, french in french parts, etc. unless you go to private schools. 6. Here in ontario school is never cancelled for snow, school buses are, but school is always open so I am not left for a lurch and kids have a place to go if you can get them there. Sigh.

    Reply
    • A Toddler in the Trees April 19, 2016

      A good point about how differences can always be stark. I know that there are some forest schools in Switzerland (i seem to remember a documentary about them) but it all changes so quickly once you get to “regular” school. But you seem to have a great set up in the Canadian school – I know many who would envy that!

      Reply
  6. mel April 19, 2016

    I’m an American who has a Danish husband and I often debate the US vs. denmark ‘lifestyle’ with my Danish and american friends. Also with my american friends who live in denmark. there are many wonderful things about both places, and all i can say is to remember that the headlines you are reading about the Us from denmark are headlines for a reason: they are not the norm. my danish husband goes back to denmark and can’t believe how much of the american news is misreported there. i say this to encourage you that when you get back, the ‘school thing’ will probably not be as bad as you think. of course nothing can compare to a forest school in denmark. but that doesn’t mean the american school your daughter ends up in will be horrible. different yes, but she will probably love it for many reasons you can’t predict now. and you and your family will find a ‘new normal’.

    Reply
    • A Toddler in the Trees April 19, 2016

      A great reminder about the pitfalls of just focusing on headlines. I was even thinking that I saw so many of them that there must be something to it, however, I forget sometimes that there are “talking points” or a “media cycle” for topics where we tend to get overload. The one nice thing about voicing some of the worry though has been that so many people have reached out with suggestions for good schools and good districts and it’s been reassuring. We’ll miss it here but we’ll be looking forward to the adventure there too!

      Reply
  7. Laura Barta May 12, 2016

    If only we could take all the wonderful things from each place we’ve lived and visited and combine it into one perfect world. Mine would have a forest school, pierogi made by grandmothers, a patisserie, tropical flowers, fresh mango juice and idli. And, I’m just getting started!

    Reply
  8. […] didn’t originally put homework on my list of things to be concerned about in moving back to the US, but it was always there in the back of my mind.  I wasn’t sure if all of this talk of […]

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